Bioshock - By Helljumper44
Bioshock? More like BioCOCK. As soon as I realized I had paid $99 for this thing, I cried a little. Then realized that I could easily get a refund. Realizations are fun.
Onto the game.
On the surface, Bioshock seems like your pretty standard FPS with RPG elements, but underneath this facade of "art deco" and "water effects" (suck my left nut, Frankie) lies so much more suck that it's not funny. In my eyes, if a game has a good enough story, it can redeem itself, no matter how shabby the game play may be. Bioshock completely destroyed this view. I loved the story, but unfortunately this love was completely destroyed by the fact that this was simply another game of "collect such-and-such to pass through this door". Respawning enemies took away any surprise after passing once through a passageway, and if there was any beauty in the scenery, I must've missed it due to the fact that I was forced to travel through glass tubes for half the game. Only once did I look outside the tube only to see - surprise surprise - buttloads of water.
It played basically like a Metroid Prime game, just made to look like it was made for adults, but play as if it were made for 6 year olds. Some aspects I just found completely pointless. Such as hacking cameras. Once hacked, a camera will spot enemies instead of you, sending drones after them. I think there was only one point in the entire game where this action was of any real benefit. Every other hack was a waste of time, as a shotgun shell would have sufficed. The ridiculously huge number of power-ups just made the game even more complicated. Plus the fact that to swap between them, you need to travel all the way to specific vending machines located throughout Rapture made the whole thing an unnecessary hassle that could have been avoided by letting you simply swap in the pause screen or inventory screen.
Multi-player; the lack thereof
'nuff said.
Also, there was the fact that your wallet could only hold up to $300. What the deuce?
And lastly, the issue of Morality and the harvesting/saving of the Little Sisters turned out to be a disappointment. Each one you find, you simply decide whether you're gonna kill her or save her, and nomatter how many you mindlessly slaughter, they will still save you in the end. How's that for your actions deciding your path?
Overall, the lack of Multi-player and fun game play is not redeemed by the graphics, story, or mountain of power-ups thrown at you. But I'm not here just to criticize, I'm also here to give tips on what to do next time. That is nothing. Next time, 2K, just don't bother doing anything. Please quit your jobs and go work at McDonald's. Everyone will be much happier that way.
3/10
Onto the game.
On the surface, Bioshock seems like your pretty standard FPS with RPG elements, but underneath this facade of "art deco" and "water effects" (suck my left nut, Frankie) lies so much more suck that it's not funny. In my eyes, if a game has a good enough story, it can redeem itself, no matter how shabby the game play may be. Bioshock completely destroyed this view. I loved the story, but unfortunately this love was completely destroyed by the fact that this was simply another game of "collect such-and-such to pass through this door". Respawning enemies took away any surprise after passing once through a passageway, and if there was any beauty in the scenery, I must've missed it due to the fact that I was forced to travel through glass tubes for half the game. Only once did I look outside the tube only to see - surprise surprise - buttloads of water.
It played basically like a Metroid Prime game, just made to look like it was made for adults, but play as if it were made for 6 year olds. Some aspects I just found completely pointless. Such as hacking cameras. Once hacked, a camera will spot enemies instead of you, sending drones after them. I think there was only one point in the entire game where this action was of any real benefit. Every other hack was a waste of time, as a shotgun shell would have sufficed. The ridiculously huge number of power-ups just made the game even more complicated. Plus the fact that to swap between them, you need to travel all the way to specific vending machines located throughout Rapture made the whole thing an unnecessary hassle that could have been avoided by letting you simply swap in the pause screen or inventory screen.
Multi-player; the lack thereof
'nuff said.
Also, there was the fact that your wallet could only hold up to $300. What the deuce?
And lastly, the issue of Morality and the harvesting/saving of the Little Sisters turned out to be a disappointment. Each one you find, you simply decide whether you're gonna kill her or save her, and nomatter how many you mindlessly slaughter, they will still save you in the end. How's that for your actions deciding your path?
Overall, the lack of Multi-player and fun game play is not redeemed by the graphics, story, or mountain of power-ups thrown at you. But I'm not here just to criticize, I'm also here to give tips on what to do next time. That is nothing. Next time, 2K, just don't bother doing anything. Please quit your jobs and go work at McDonald's. Everyone will be much happier that way.
3/10
